Saturday, November 1, 2008

My mom, Patty Ann..

Today my mom would have been 82 years old. She has been gone a staggering 14 years (I can't believe it has been that long). Before she got sick at the young age of 45, she was athletic, a golfer, a tennis player, a leader in the Girl Scouts. She raised 5 daughters. I use to be amazed at the thought that she used a whole loaf of bread to make our lunches. My mom was one of the strongest, most persistent people I have ever met.

When she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis at such a young age, she never shed a tear that I saw. She just started fighting it with everything she had, medically, mentally..She didn't complain much to me anyway, never seemed to feel sorry for herself. After 10 years she ended up on a wheelchair and that is how she lived out her life. She just saw an obstacle and went over it. She persisted with an undaunted will...I must admit it was a real bummer to have the roles reversed so young. She was my mom and had always taken care of everyone and everything and now, she was the dependent one. She never demanded my attention, even when she got sick. We wanted to be around her, even if it was a few trips across country to mom's house to spend time with her. I always loved being around my mom for those visits. I could just hang out, go shopping with her, the wheelchair just became a part of our lives. In 1994, she became even more disabled by this crippling disease and finally, when she could no longer talk, she let go and passed on. There is never a day in my life that I do not miss my mom. The hole in my heart is smaller, as the days pass but I can still remember her voice, her unstoppable will power to live and go on and be positive.

I know that is why I am who I am today. That is what makes me want to conquer Ironman and Mount Kilimanjaro and do all the things that seem too hard.

Because my mom taught me that nothing is too hard if you just set your mind to it.

Happy birthday Mom!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Somedays you got it..somedays..

Sometimes we train ourselves physically, some days-mentally. I was training myself in the latter today. We did a hard hill ride with Coach Eric yesterday, then a 3500 speed swim workout with him in the afternoon. You know the kind of swim workout you hate but then at the end you love? My HR was in the 160s for once while I was swimming! I tried my new wetsuit out-it is awesome although I really cannot gain a pound before IMAZ or I will be wetsuitless...

Today we headed for the track for a speed workout. That was a joke. I could not for the life of me get my legs to run fast. I was tired, out of gas, not sure what. So I played mental games with myself. I suck, I am the worst runner, I can never do Ironman, what was I thinking? turned into I'm a runner, I can do this, I'm a runner..

So on and on my workout went, H too far ahead of me to even count laps with. I just mentally fought the good fight and finished, even if it took me forever..Then it dawned on my Why this is just like Ironman. You just mentally decide not to let it get to you. NO MATTER WHAT the day brings! You fight the thoughts with other thoughts. You get the mental messages down before the race and on game day, use them..

Monday, October 27, 2008

Crazy weekend, trying to stay sane.

Tough weekend in H And D retirement land. It started out by a 5 hour wait in the Emergency Room on Friday night with H's mom, Bea. Can I just say what the hell happened to our medical system? It was ridiculous!! There was no less than 50 people in the waiting room. We had my 87 year old mom-in-law, who was suffering and in pain and needed to lie down. She was "next on the list" to get an ER bed. I talked to a poor girl next to us who had a burst ear drum and she had been there 5hours. It was all based on acuity and since Bea was next in line, she got the "first bed" AFTER THREE HOURS?? What a nightmare! To make a long story short, they admitted her. To protect her privacy, though I can't imagine her ever reading my blog since she cannot even open e-mail, I will only say that her chronic condition has worsened and our days with her may be limited..She is home now and still a very sharp woman. I cannot even imagine living life without her but that is something it looks like we do not have to deal with at least in the immediate future. We meet with her Dr. on November 10th to get a treatment plan so will know more then..

In the meantime, if she gets in this situation again, we will be calling 911 or getting her Dr. to admit her directly...That ER stuff is WAY out of control!!
I will say once on the hospital...thank GOD, she got such good medical care from the nurses and aides, had a great private room. It was almost worth the wait..

Our training went to hell. In between hospital visits, we attempted a long run on Sat and long ride on Sunday. Between Dr. and family calls out on the road, we only got 50 miles in on the bike. We still saw Bea when she got home and helped her get settled in and somehow made it to dinner with some friends. I collapsed last night in a heap and woke up to ants on the kitchen counter from leaving the dishes dirty for 2 days...Yuk!

Today our daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter, Avery will be here to cheer up Nana. We have our next bike and swim lesson with Eric today. Hopefully we can stay on task today after such a crazy weekend..