Friday, April 17, 2009

My world continues to change...

Yep-it is snowing here in the "Q" after Easter..The heater is on..

Been a long time since I remember this late of a "winter"

Of course this is directly related to the fact I planted ALOT of flowers this past week..I fancy myself to be a gardener right now.

Today is Lane, my grand-daughter's 5th birthday. I was there when she entered the world, or a few minutes afterwards anyway. She is such a joy, words cannot describe. I called her this morning and she told me she really wanted to turn 5! She is hilarious...

This week I connected with my Coach and we are on for a 8 week program probably starting in May..This will give me a chance to improve, well everything in time for Buffalo Springs. There are now TEN women in my AG. I really don't care anymore..they all just keep aging up so it is impossible to win by attrition anymore!

Weight issues abound this week. Without elaborating, I have decided:

1. It is not rational...never has been about weight..
2. As Dr. Phil says, I would not be so concerned what people think of me if I realized how little they do.
3. With age comes pounds..there is pretty much nothing you can do about that except starve yourself, which I will not be doing..
4. Obsessing about weight is a very selfish, self-centered thing to do..
5. It is all about control and keeping things the same.."Nothing's Going to Change my World" I feel a Beatle's song coming on..
6. No one really knows how to treat someone who has an eating disorder. It is "multifaceted" and has many layers, is on a spectrum.
7. I have a mild case, although have been pretty bad at some points of my life. I will never probably go back there.
8. There are probably folks in this world who do not give a crap about their weight..ever..

Ok, 'nuff

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I give up..

I think I need a coach now..I am feeling less motivated this week so took 3 days off..Biked today in the rain to start out with, then just cold and actually not so bad for 30 miles. Now I do not know if my lack of motivation has to do with the weather but it SUCKS lately here in the "Q". I have not even donned my bike shorts here yet and it is Easter..Easter folks! Also the big "A" that has hit us all (allergies) with a vengeance this year...WTF?

I have a running race in 3 weeks and a half Ironman triathlon in 11 weeks. I feel like I am falling behind because basically I am following my own training plan and guidance..Is this a good idea? I sense not. Because now H is following me too and I may be leading us down the wrong path altogether. We are loosely following Beginner Triathlete's plans for the half marathon and half IM. I just do not feel the same about race season this year. Maybe it is because the big one is so far away...I have no heart in Sprints this year and I know they are good for me to practice..

H pulled a calf muscle this week again..poor thing has this weakness in his legs that just seems to put up a fuss when he trains alot (imagine that!). Soooo he is out for running for awhile which makes it even more difficult to get my engine going...

Yes Coach Eric will be hearing from me soon..I just do not trust myself after all these years..

Today is Easter. I miss my kids..remembering when they were really small and we use to dye Easter eggs and hide them. This seems like another life ago and now they are having traditions with their own families..I even remember the family of origin and back in the day when my parents thought it was a good idea to dress us all up in matching dresses (5 girls) on Easter Sunday. Now that is just a little wonder I question my autonomy..