Saturday, March 14, 2009

A Day of Me again..

There were a few years in there post mom dying, midlife depressive, perimenopausal days where I was pretty much stuck on the couch in a fetal position for many days..That was several years ago..I had few close friends except party buddies and acquaintances but for the most part I was one sad puppy..that's OK-that is just where I was.

Fast forward many therapy sessions later, Master's education in Counseling, grief work pretty much completed and I got to have a day like yesterday! H & I playfully saying We have friends! Like it is something new, something to be treasured -because at the end of the day, friends and family are all that really count.

Spa day with Dread Pirate, Iron Geekgirl and Cindy was the BEST! We laughed, talked, Spa-ed and ate our way through the day..nary a care in the world. These are all women who are middle-aged, I being the oldest. We have triathlon, raising kids, having husbands in common. All of it appeared in my day yesterday..I look back and wonder who was that depressed woman who didn't even want to leave my house most days, much less hang out with my people, my women friends? I felt comfortable, at home at Girls' Day Out yesterday. Just like my old self, back in the days of High School, when my friends were everything to me..

There is hope for me forever now. I never again have to stay in that place again. That dark, depressive state of being.. Welcome to the land of friends and life and happy days again!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Hill Repeats and water weight..

Now here is our hill repeat workout from today..I am just wondering how everyone else does hill repeats? This is not a steep hill, the repeats were 2 minutes HR at AT for the last 30 seconds...Is that a real hill repeat?
We did 12 of them. We were suppose to do 15 but time got in the way..I felt pretty good after about number 5.

So went to the doctor for a routine visit today and found a downside of the bioidentical hormones. I have put on at least 5 lbs of what I consider "water weight" I know everyone says this but for sure this really is-I can tell by the signs of edema. So call to the Nurse Practitioner..more dialing in the doses. It is unusual that my body is so sensitive to the hormones but probably since I haven't had any for so long, it is freaking out a bit. This takes time to get the right doses..she tells me. Now I have to be patient. Weight gain is probably the worst side effect I can imagine, having the body images I have had all my life. I know I am not alone here. Any woman who says, no matter how big or small that Oh it's fine I have gained 10 lbs, I don't care that my clothes do not fit anymore, lying or delusional. That is just my opinion and my slant on body image...Does it make sense? No..Does feeling so much better make it worth the price? No..

Isn't weight just a number? Well it should be but when I stepped on the scale today at the MD's office, I was pissed! I work hard for this body!! 5 lbs I blame on non-IM training, 5 lbs water weight and there you have it..the 10 lbs I do not want.

Is there ever going to be a time I just do not care? When I am 80 or 90 or drooling on myself?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Meet my new best friend..

As I have been discussing, the pollen count in the Southwest is out of control this year. Probably something to do with El Nino or the planet alignment or global has been a pain in the eyes, nose and head for me this year..

THEN, my friend Steve reminded me about this:

It is called a "Neti Pot" , I am not sure why. Basically it is a nasal irrigation use it is hard to explain. As Steve says, it is one of those "private moments" when you actually use it to blow snot out of your sinuses. I have a Neti Pot, but had forgotten about it..So I am going to try it in place of the allergy pill, nasal spray, decongestant, eye drops and Tylenol I have been using..Today is my first day. I will report if it have to use it twice a day, I think the directions said..

Today is my first official BSLT training day. I ran 50 min on the "dreadmill", swam 3000 yards. The swim seemed to take forever...oh my gosh..swimming is BORING! But I did not cheat or cut my workout short, although I REALLY wanted to..pushing myself to think positive thoughts during that one.

Speaking of positive thoughts, yesterday I had a mini meltdown during our group ride with the triathlon club..Not only was I LAST much of the ride, I said f*&(*k it halfway through and sat at the bottom of the hill while everyone else busted their ass riding up about a 3 mile climb. H has become such a good cyclist, I can no longer keep up with him or anyone else for that matter. I was this close to crying as I waited for the group..Cranky does not even come close to how I felt yesterday. H thinks Satan's spin classes are killing me so I have nothing left on the weekends..I do not feel like they are zapping me that much! I averaged over 15 MPH yesterday and was still left in the dust for the most part... second weekend in a row now..

Bummer...I need to think new thoughts on those rides.I do not accept it is my age since my 8-year older husband seems to be keeping up with guys almost half his excuses..