A motivation to run faster..

I ran with some of my Colorado Relay Team -mates last night. In the dark..I almost didn't go because I knew I could not possibly keep up with these people. Their idea of a jog is my PR in a 5 mile run. I was really grumpy when I got there thinking what the hell am I doing here? I am not even running in this damn relay-I am a driver! I have always felt an inferiority complex in the running department. Stems from my swimming days as a kid when I was one of the slower kids (another therapy session I can feel it coming). Anyways, here I am with Dread Pirate, Bones, and some other fast running peeps. I basically knew unless I wanted to run in the dark, by myself, on an unsafe river trail, I would just need to suck it up and run fast. So I did. I ran as fast as I could until DP finally said, OK time to turn around. Little did she know I was about to throw up and was screaming inside When is this going to be over?? We turned around and I managed to keep the pace until about a half mile to go. I said I was going to just jog it in and they said We are jogging! Now my ego was really bruised, but I slowed it up and jogged in at my pace. The whole run was 5 miles. I did it in 55 minutes which seriously for me, is fast!

The key to get faster is to run with faster people. I know this. I realize it goes against all the Mark Allen principles. I am questioning if I can even get consistently faster at my age. I am really proud of myself that I was able to keep up last night even if it was only 50 minutes. That was my speed session of the week..

Today I feel surprisingly good. I am off to the second day of a somewhat interesting seminar on problem gambling. It makes me never want to put a dime in a slot machine for fear I might become addicted. Very scary stories of folks who lose everything due to gambling...

Some drivers are just BAD people..

OK so we were cycling down a busy 4 lane road and came to a stoplight. There was a right turn lane and we were going straight. So, in usual fashion I got on the white line between the straight lane and turning lane. Then I hear this roar of a big truck engine right in my ear- a truck passes me, pulling a trailer with about a ton of stuff. Revving his engine just as he passed me, he swerved to within inches of me, obviously just to be mean. Then, I did something I haven't done probably since high school (forgive me Lane, Avery and Hadley should you read this when you grow up-Grandma Debi has a dark side):

I flipped him off!

I can tell my motivation has changed..

Training for IMAZ

Yesterday:

H: Aren't you going to do the swim with me? (this is at 6:00 at night).

Me: Nah, I already ran over 10 miles today. I don't need it.

H: But that is what is on our IMAZ schedule for today! I want to do all the workouts.

Me: Yea I know but it is ok to miss one this far out.

H: I want to finish IMAZ-YOU made me this compulsive!!

Me: Bye honey..Have fun!

I am doing IMAZ to finish with my husband-that is it..H says I will get all competitive about my time as the event draws closer but I seriously doubt it!

Yesterday, I went for a run with some of my ultra fast running Outlaws. I feel incredibly intimidated by this bunch. I use to keep up with some of them on the bike, now not so much..Never been able to run as fast as some of these guys. Their idea of a long run is like 8 min. miles for 10 miles. SOoooo, we took off to do this run:

I decided 2 things:

1. I was going to keep my HR below 140.
2. I was going to have fun no matter what.

I succeeded in both. Although IronMisty was not havin' such a good time (her tell of it is hilarious), I managed to keep my spirits up as I walked up most of that hill. Then, I actually ran down the hill with one of the young guys, who told me at one point we were running 8.5 min. miles. Yep I was running that fast! For about 5 minutes! Then managed to keep running for my total 2 hr. 10 min run.

I really do want to get faster running. I am still training with the HR approach like Mark Allen, except I have bumped up my max aerobic HR a bit. Plus I think I need speed work on the run.

Speaking of running, as a result of my little jaunt yesterday (probably the downhill part), my quads are killing me today! Which means in my book, it is good for me. How did I ever come to this kind of thinking?

Meanwhile. I have created a monster in my husband. He has joined the cult. He has become the obsessive compulsive Ironman nuts that he use to despise in me. Who would have thunk?

What I need to be an Olympic Athelete..

OK so all I need is this to be faster:

Torres’s retinue includes a head coach, a sprint coach, a strength coach, two stretchers, two masseuses, a chiropractor and a nanny, at the cost of at least $100,000 per year.

Well, take off the nanny and the cost goes under 6 figures.

Or I need this body:

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/share.html?videoid=0816_PhelpsBody_JA243

Or this diet:

MICHAEL PHELPS' DIET
Breakfast: Three fried egg sandwiches; cheese; tomatoes; lettuce; fried onions; mayonnaise; three chocolate-chip pancakes; five-egg omelette; three sugar-coated slices of French toast; bowl of grits; two cups of coffee
Lunch: Half-kilogram (one pound) of enriched pasta; two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayonnaise on white bread; energy drinks
Dinner: Half-kilogram of pasta, with carbonara sauce; large pizza; energy drinks

I feel so jealous sometimes! Maybe in my next life..

And oh, that finish in the 100 Fly last night made me hoarse! I am sure Michael heard me all the way from NM.. That guy is a MACHINE..Go Michael!!

I do have a profession..

I don't talk much about my professional life. Oh, maybe that is because I do not have one! Or rather it is dormant at the moment. Well, that is not entirely true. I still attend a professional counselors' group every other week. We have grown as a group to a place where we are people, as well as professionals, so I still have a place there. This group helped me process my closing my practice 2 years ago. A painful conclusion to come to the realization that I could no longer work at the expense of myself. Plus H was wrapping up his career. I just left earlier than I anticipated.

I was a counselor in private practice for 4 years, following 3 and 1/2 years of graduate school. I loved the work, loved my clients. It all came very naturally. I remember thinking, I am getting paid for this? It was such a great joy to work with people from all walks of life with all kinds of problems. I loved having my own business. Why did I leave? Because I was tired. REALLY tired.. It was time to take a break from taking care of everyone else for the last 30 years and time to rest. It sucked saying goodbye to people I had counseled and loved. A lot of goodbyes at the same time. It was incredibly sad. I miss them still sometimes so much my heart aches. After sharing a therapeutic journey with some very incredible people, I had to say goodbye. Wishing them well, yet never knowing how the story ends.

I went to a Seminar today in Journal Writing as a therapeutic tool. You see I am keeping my counseling license, for what purpose I don't know yet but it just feels right. So I need to cram all these classes in at the last minute because I procrastinated in getting my CEUs to renew my license. It sparks my longing to help folks again..

Is blogging journaling? That was discussed today. In my mind it is not journaling in the classic sense. I would not share my deepest, most personal feelings online. Is it therapeutic? Yes! For me it is. It is my connection some days with the outside world. My outside world.

Will I ever be a counselor again? Will I ever go back to work or volunteer in the field? I am too busy doing what retired people do to figure that out yet. I am for the most part rested, playing, training, hanging out with my hubby, traveling, watching too much stupid TV, making "creepy Internet friends" (this term I coined from one of them)..it is all good!