Monday, February 7, 2011

Old lady syndrome..

I am really bad about commitment as you can see. I have not posted for over a week. I WANT to blog, I just get caught up in the "getting going". I do have a problem with procrastination-only about some things though..Housework, bills, blogging..that kind of stuff..It is pretty strange to have that combination with my overly anal retentive, compulsive personality don't you think?

It's sort of like when you aren't in contact with a friend for awhile..Then it gets uncomfortable to think about calling..then I just don't contact that friend at all because..well it is awkward..That is how I am with blogging. It gets to be so long that then it feels overwhelming to start AT ALL. How weird is that?

Anyhoo, the health issue is still looming. I went to see the neurologist who basically tested me and indeed, I do have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome . Duh!! This didn't really surprise me..I think it is a garbage diagnosis if you ask me. However she did say with the weight loss and all, perhaps it was something else causing the CTS. So back to the drawing board. She referred me to a rheumatologist, who I see tomorrow..Of course my blood work is completely normal so I anticipate the new Dr. will still be searching for answers..

I did a sleep study, the Neuro doc (who BTW is a very sweet young woman..she could be my daughter's age which still blows me away!) thought it would be a good idea. So off I go to the "sleep lab" to be hooked up like Frankenstein and expected to "sleep" like normal. I actually did sleep! I was strange, but I did it! The tech told me in the morning I do not have enough REM sleep . And that I have movement in my sleep. Not very informative but I will get a full report hopefully this week.

In the meantime, my symptoms are improving..of course..So my cyberchondria diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis is slowly dissipating..How could it be that if I am getting better? My mom got it one day and very soon afterwards, woke up and could not get out of bed! Grateful, thankful, happy that I am better! It is like how your car stops making that noise as soon as you are on you way to the auto shop..I am like that..

My running continues to improve. I kept up with my "real running" friends for 3 miles this past weekend. It thrilled me to no end. Then Sunday I was hoping for the same but as luck would have it, the minute I started running I had to go to the bathroom. H is use to this with me so we went in search of a bathroom, while the group faded in the distance. It ended up being outside bathroom on the Bosque. Thereafter my stomach issues did not stop. It is extremely difficult to pull down my compression tights in the woods, freezing ass temperatures and wind blowing 20 MPH. I did this several times on the run. My GI issues were BAD. The wind, the wind. It was one of the suckiest top ten runs I have ever done..But I did it! 12 miles-wasn't pretty-but done. Quite a contrast from the day before when I thought I was a rockstar. But oh well, can't get too confident, can I? Geez..

OK, so off to Sedona half marathon this weekend with our peeps..I am "only" doing the half. I wanted to sign up for the full marathon a couple of weeks ago but then I realized my longest run was only 12 miles at the time and changed my mind..I feel like the second string, once again. I do not think I will ever quite get into "the club", the ultra running group. I feel there is an unspoken barrier between those who can run well, and those who are slower (like me)..kind of elitist but hey, if I could run fast I would be one too!

We are planning a trip to Alaska this summer, tentatively. I lived in Alaska in my late teens and worked at a lifeguard at a ski  resort. It is kind of hazy-the memory of that time. Perhaps it has to do with all the substances I was putting in my body which was the beginning of my life long struggle with addiction. I sure had fun though! I remember the following:

My parent lived in Anchorage for about 5 years in the 70s. I spent a summer+ with them in 1972(?)
I lived in the woods and worked at Alyeska probably for 6 months(?)..It will be interesting to see if the resort has changed and how..I also worked in the bakery at the resort and as a cleaning person for the hotel. I was a “jack of all trades”, huh?
I remember going on a cruise in the Kenai Peninsula with my mom back in the day..It was cool to see the glaciers..
I went to Fairbanks several times-don’t remember much there.
I do remember summer in Alaska playing volleyball at midnight because it was still light! The Land of the Midnight Sun it is!
IT rains A LOT in the summer so be prepared with rain gear..It will probably rain A LOT in July. When I worked as a lifeguard, the temperature hit a record 80 degrees or something. So it is generally cool up there..
Those are my remaining memories of Alaska and my short time there..

I really lived it up back in the day! The Alaska tour includes an overnight in the hotel I worked at. A full circle moment for sure! 

That's it for now. More about the doctor visit later. I feel like one of those old ladies who obsesses over my body breaking down and discussing it Ad Nauseam. :)


Vickie said...

I am like you with blogging now. I don't feel like I have anything much to say other than ranting or rambling so I put it off and put it off and put it off. Hopefully your medical issues resolve. I had forgotten about Sedona! A lot of my relatives life in AZ so I have been there a few times and pretty much all over the state, but my aunt is pretty ill right now so don't want to intrude with a visit just to do a race, which would be the only way I could justify doing a race in AZ (by visiting also). Good luck this weekend!

Formulaic said...

Let me be a prime example that you don't need to be fast to be in the Ultra club.

Just go and go and don't stop!!

But secretly....

I want to be fast too!

LBTEPA said...

I'm trying to blog twice a week, so far so good - but I have a star chart, my secret weapon :P
Fingers crossed for the new dr and the sleep study. How upsetting for you when you've worked so hard on your health

SingletrackJenny (formerly known as IronJenny) said...

I'm so sorry you are having health issues - and I totally get it about blogging! I just went down my old sidebar from 3 years ago, and there is hardly anyone left!!